Mornings

Sometimes mornings in my household can be a bit extreme. Let me..let you, have a peak into our mornings.

430am - Wake up, PUMP PUMP and not a New Jersey Fist pump...I'm talking machinery attached to the ladies in order for milk extraction to happen. TMI?

445am - Hear the baby start crying just as you finish, meaning now we need to bottle up the juice in order to feed him

500am - Stare at baby at through shower door, simultaneausly praying that he does not start crying.

505am - Hear toddler awaken, she immediately demands a waffle and applejuice...87 times.

510am - Try to find your hair brush (hint, it's dowstairs now hidden in a drawer because your toddler put it there.

515am - Decide the curly hair look is in today, apply make up, start sweating mid makeup application.




525am - Dress toddler and baby. Toddler demands that she be allowed to wear a dress, you say "no it's too cold outside." Commence the total breakdown of toddler.

527am - Put adult toothpaste on toddlers toothbrush, toddler foams at the mouth due to lack of peppermint experience. You can guess that this did not help the situation.

528am - Scream and Cry (me, not the toddler)

530am - Tell toddler if she doesn't settle down her whole birthday is cancelled.

535am - Feel really guilty about how much of a biatch I'm being.




545am - Get into car and drop the heathens off at daycare.

630am - Arrive at work and make everybody listen to your sob story of a morning...twice. Rinse, Repeat.