Banana & Pumpkin Crumble Top Muffins

When my day at work is completed I get super excited to go pick up my kids from kindergarten and daycare.  I can’t wait to hug them, ask how their day went, and cook a kick-butt dinner for them like the top notch mom I am, in my head.

So I enter the classroom to pick each kid up and I find I instantly get all crabby and flustered.  First I find out that “Indigo had a difficult time today listening” from her teacher, leading to getting the dreaded yellow on the behavior chart (this means no candy even though she will most definitely beg for it 75 times).  Then I go to pick up Desmond and find out that even though I stopped at Target already today, I need to go back there, since he’s out of diapers, booty cream, and wipes.  It’s really fun going to target with 2 kids, said no mom ever.

So after all of that we normally pack in up in the car and get ready to sit in traffic.  We pass a giant blow up gorilla, which Indigo always insists is chasing us all the way home.  Desmond begins blowing bubbles and spitting all over the car and Indigo thinks this is hilarious and joins in.  So basically my kids are spitting all over the car with a freaking blow up gorilla chasing us.  This is our normal drive home.  Very relaxing, my kids are guaranteed to move my mood meter down 50 points on the drive home…except for one day.

Have you ever been driving along, not thinking too much and realized you have gone like 5 miles without really noticing things?  Like how the hell did I space cadet drive 5 miles without really trying, and thank god I did not crash in to some ditch?  Normally I’m kept alert with that giant gorilla chasing our car and the constant spitting and bubble blowing, but today was different.

Kids feel asleep on the drive home that day, I did not notice – Had I noticed I would not have listened to kid bop radio the whole way home.

Lesson Learned, if it’s quiet in my car I either forgot to pick the kids up or they want to take a nap 2 hours before bed time and that my friends opens up a whole new can of worms

.

Speaking of worms, you don’t need any for this recipe.

Ingredients/Muffins

Delightfully borrowed from DOLE

• 2 ripe, large DOLE® Bananas
• 1/2 cup canned pumpkin
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 1/4 cup milk
• 1/4 cup vegetable oil
• 1 egg
• 1-3/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 tsp baking powder
• 1  ¼ tsp pumpkin pie spice
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/2 cup packed brown sugar

Ingredients/Crumble top

• 2 tbs flour
• 1/3 cup brown sugar
• ¼ tsp pumpkin pie spice
• 1-2 tbs butter

Directions

Puree bananas in blender. Mix bananas, pumpkin, granulated sugar, milk, oil and egg in medium bowl until well blended.

Combine flour, baking powder, 1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice and salt in large bowl. Stir banana mixture into flour mixture just until moistened. Spoon batter into muffin tins sprayed with nonstick cooking spray. Or line with liners.

Stir together brown sugar, flour, and pumpkin pie spice for crumble top.  Mash in the butter until it resembles coarse crumbs.  Top each muffin generously.

Bake at 375º F 20 to 22 minutes or until wooden toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Serve warm with more butter if like…I like.

Chocolate Curls

It was almost 90 degrees at my house yesterday, I’m pretty sure that’s earth’s party foul!  I know some of you will be jealous and tell me that it was negative 90 degrees at your house…but I’m sad.  It’s November, like mid freaking November and I’m in tank tops.  I guess I just can’t go running, because one of my hard and fast rules is not running when it’s over 70 degrees outside.  So basically I think mother earth is preventing me from reaching my true athletic ability.

Speaking of athletic ability, have you ever been playing rough with your kids like flipping them all around high in the air and then accidentally letting go of the 19 month old who then plummets to the ground landing on his face?

No??  Me neither.  I was just checking.

Oh, I have another question for you. Have you ever went to the same fast food restaurant for like 3 or 4 days in a row ordering the same thing at the same time and the person in the drive-thru who works at the same time every day starts to recognize you and point out to you that you have now been there for 3 or 4 days in a row and that you should probably be ashamed of yourself for coming back over and over because it’s like 90 degrees out and you know you’re not going for a run after this to burn off the 1,000 calories your consuming after every trip to her store and probably your kid would not have face planted last night if you could have just gone for a run and burnt of those 4 chicken mini’s that you had for 3 or 4 days in a row?

No?? Me neither I was just checking.

Ingredients

Delightfully borrowed from Pioneer Woman

3oz Semi-Sweet Bakers Chocolate

1tbs of Crisco Vegetable Shortening

Stuff you need : large metal baking pan/cookie sheet, metal spatula

Directions

Place the 3 ounces of chocolate and 1 tbs of shortening in a microwave safe bowl.  Nuke it for 45 seconds, take it out and stir - If not fully melted nuke for 10-20 seconds at a time, keep stirring until fully incorporated.

Pour the mixture on to the cookie sheet, the back side.  Spread the mixture very thin over the entire back of the sheet with a knife or spatula.  At first thea mount might look like it could never cover the entire back, but it will!

Place the pan in your freezer for 3-4 minutes.  Take out the pan and place it on the counter, using your metal spatula edge slowly start scraping the chocolate off the pan, get your back into it!  If it breaks or doesn’t curl that means it’s too cold.  Simply wait 30-60 seconds and try again.  I linked to Pioneer woman above - she has step by step photos.

Gingersnap Crust Pumpkin Tart with Caramel Bits

Desmond Story –

 So every time we leave the house and go out and about Desmond is constantly saying “Happy, happy, happy, happy” and pointing all around.  I felt so proud that my 18 month old was so darn happy, it must be because I’m so freaking awesome right?  He’s finally appreciating the 10 cups of apple juice I bring him every day, the tons of dried mac and cheese I fish off the floor, and still loving him even after he coughs and sneezes directly onto my face.

Well the other day as he’s telling me how happy he is for the 20^Th time that day (gosh kid I get it), I followed his finger to what he was pointing at…it was an airplane!  Desmond has been pointing out airplanes for the past couple of weeks. He's pointing out airplanes not his happiness! 

 Airplanes get all the freaking glory with kids.  What’s so freaking cool about gliding through the sky while taking thousands of people to their destination all over the world?

Hi, my names Jennifer and I’m a great listener!

Is my child happy - he better be!!!  Does he like airplanes - As about as much as I loved eating this tart.

Recipe delightfully borrowed from HERE

INGREDIENTS

• 2 1/2 cups crushed Ginger Cookies
• 6 tablespoons butter, melted
• 1 (15-ounce) can pumpkin puree
• 3/4 cup sweetened condensed milk
• 2 large egg yolks
• Pinch salt
• Caramel Bits

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Make the crust by combining the ginger cookie crumbs and melted butter in a large bowl, until well blended. Add the crumbs to the tart pan and evenly press over the bottom and up the sides with the bottom of a measuring cup. Bake until set and a bit darker in color, 10 to 12 minutes. Remove from the oven and set aside to cool.

In a bowl, whisk together the pumpkin, condensed milk, egg yolks and salt until well blended. Pour the filling into the cooled crust, drop in caramel bits in and pattern you like, return to the oven, and bake until set and beginning to brown on the top, about 30-40 minutes. Remove tart from the oven, cool to room temperature and then chill in the refrigerator, at least 1 hour or until ready to serve.

Indigo turns FIVE

Indigo is 5, YAY!  So we had her bithday over the weekend (ok like 4 weekends ago I’m slow to post) and it was a Monster High Themed Party.  Lots of things happened during this party, and I plan to fill you in accordingly.

Number 1 - I taped lots of cool things to a table for decoration, I made everything by hand - aren't I crafty?  Are you not amazed?

Ok that's a lie, but I did drive to Party City and purchase everything.  I also managed to tape down that pesky table cover that never seems to stay put - even with a breeze that couldn't knock over an ant that thing was hanging on by a string (actually it was hanging on with about 10lbs of tape).

Screw you plastic table cover = I WIN!

I made cupcakes!  I normally make everything by hand but this stuff came from a box and can.  For some reason I got more compliments on them than anything else?????

What's up with that friends, do you not enjoy my normal baking!?!

Speaking of people enjoying my cooking, I made these lovely mummy dogs!  OMG, are they not the cutest thing, and who the heck doesn't enjoy a crescent roll??  If you're raising your hand you have issues.

So how could crescent mummy dogs go wrong?  I made the HUGE mistake of putting two micro dots of mustard on each of them for eyes.

Apparently mustard is "icky, gross, poo poo, ewwwwwwwww" Hence they were all rejected by the children.  This worked out in the adults favor.

Then we all took a walk after the party and spent the rest of their energy at the park.

And then all the adults drank too much wine and had hangovers, THE END

Happy 5th Indigo!

Quiche

I have a few random things to talk about today.

Fact – I have given birth to two children.
Fact – The total cost of birthing those two children was about 10 dollars.
Fact – The total cost of one root canal from my Dentist was 924 dollars.

This does NOT compute.



Random fact about me – I record all of the voices for our 800 numbers where I work. When I hear someone calling into them I always ask them “OMG, who is that sexy lady you’re talking too”?



Fact – I find like 5 sippy cups in my car every week.
Fact – The reason I find 5 sippy cups in my car every week is because once they’ve sat in there long enough they start to stink making them easy to locate.
Fact – I spend a lot of money on sippy cups.



Basic Ingredients
Pie Crust
6 eggs
¾ cup cream or half and half
½ cup cheese (I used Gruyere)
Salt & Pepper

- You can add anything from here. I added one large caramelized onion, 1 cup of diced and sauteed potatoes (I sauteed them with Olive Oil, Italian Seasoning, and a dash of soy sauce), and 2 cooked and chopped slices of bacon.



Directions
Prepare your pie crust. Mix together your eggs, cream, cheese, and some salt and pepper. Next I sprinkled my onion, taters, and bacon into the pie crust. Pour egg mixture into your pie crust.  Bake at 375 for 40-50 minutes or until a toothpick from the center comes out nice and clean.



Fact – This quiche cost more to make then it cost me to birth two babies.
Fact – This quiche hurt less than the babies to make.
Fact – You can eat quiche, but you really shouldn’t eat babies

Things we've learned.

Things Learned in Year 1.
Her - Rolling, Sitting, Crawling, Eating, Walking.
Me – I can eat a full dinner in 3 minutes flat.



Things Learned in Year 2.
Her - Talking, Brushing Teeth, ABC’s, Dancing.
Me – Your forgot to bring a spare outfit to the park, you’re going to pay for that.



Things Learned Year 3.
Her – Drawing, Writing, Singing, Sports.
Me – Don’t send your kid to school in white shorts because they’re serving tomato soup.



Things Learned Year 4.
Her – Reading, Monster High, Fake Crying, Swimming.
Me – Orange Juice and your new couch do not mix. Kids coloring each others feet with marker on your new couch do not mix.





We’re both so smart! ready for Year 5 soon!

We finally got the house!

These past few weeks have been HELL on earth. First off we sold our house - that was a breeze. The real horror started with finding our dream house and then being chewed up and spit out for 8 weeks while trying to buy it. I consumed Popeye’s every day for weeks, it was WINE-o’clock every night by 7pm, and I probably wasn’t the nicest mommy that whole time either.

But finally, that house is ours. After a bidding war, 3 appraisals, 4 episodes of re-locking our rate, notary’s mailing paperwork to the wrong people, and countless (642) emails, that effing house is ours!! Maxim Properties, you did not beat me!

PS - It's back to posting regularly for me!!  I'm making it a "me" priority.

Banana Bread + House Changes

I have a math problem for you, most likely you wouldn’t have needed my help coming up with the answer to my problem but I went ahead anyways and solved it for you.

Me + Husband + 4 year old + 1 year old + hotel room + 4 days = Wine Time.



We’ve gone and sold our house, and it had to be tented before we could close. The family and I decided to shack up in a hotel for 4 days and brave the Lego Land Water Park in 60 degree weather and gale force winds…and we survived!



Go us.

We’ve also managed to buy another house! We’re in love of course, and can’t wait to move in. We’re just busy with paperwork and final details at the moment. Once we’re all moved in I’ll be sure to give you a tour. This place has a brand new oven I can’t wait to break in, how else will I reheat all the Taco Bell tacos I eat. Of course I’m also thinking about food pictures and just how my new counter tops will look in them.



I also managed to make banana bread – I am so freaking awesome it hurts. My review of it, nothing special but just fine and with very little ingredients very very easy.

Will.I.Am and Britney, fish

So there’s this pop song out there by Will.I.Am - Scream & Shout (feat. Britney Spears), this song has some lyrics in it that are not appropriate for 4 year olds. Let me sing them for you (I'm a freaking awesome singer!).

wanna scream and shout and let it all out
And scream and shout and let it out
We sayin', "Ohh, wee ohh, wee oh wee oh"
We sayin', "Ohh, wee ohh, wee oh wee oh"
I wanna scream and shout and let it all out
And scream and shout and let it out
We sayin', "Ohh, wee ohh, wee oh wee oh"
You are now-now rockin' with Will.I.Am and Britney, bitch



So Indigo loves this song, loves it. She’s singing it and I’m recording it for grandma – secretly I wanted her to utter that word so I could laugh. But instead she stops right before and..

Indigo – "Mom, we can’t say that word"
Me – "What word Indigo ?"
Indigo - "You are now-now rockin' with Will.I.Am and Britney, FISH"
Me – "Oh yes yes Indigo, that’s right…we couldn’t possibly be allowed to say Britney, Fish."

She's so cute.

Bunny Rhymes

It's a tough tough job
Being Easter Bunny



Nobody ever leaves you cookies
and your feet are kinda funny



It's a tough tough job
working with a bunch of chicks



They're pumping out the eggs
while I eat my carrot sticks



It's a tough tough job
too many baskets in my paws



but I have to work hard
there aren't no bunny labor laws



It's a tough tough job
kidz always be asking for more



they like to show their gratitude
by smashing chocolate on the floors


Floppy ears to yo mutha - EB Out

Happy Birthday Goose!

Happy Birthday to YOU




Happy Birthday to YOU



Happy Birthday dear Desmond



Happpppy...ummmm...Desmond, I said HAPPY NOW! This is not acceptable cupcake eating behavior! Have you no shame child?



HAPPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYYYYY toooooooooooo YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

And many more!