Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Crumble Top Banana Muffins and my Crazy List.

Things that make me want to scream, in no particular order.

1.       Sippy cups being dropped onto the hardwood floor.  Nails on a chalkboard I tell you!

2.       Picture this.  I’m at the grocery store and there are 4 lines opened.  I pick one and realize that all the others seem to be moving but not mine.  I contemplate switching lines for about 1 minute, then move on over.  The new line that I’m in now stops moving and the original line soon surpasses me.  I choose to remain in the slow line no matter what because the second that I move lines again the evil slow line vortex that hovers around me will follow – this has been tested.

3.       Using the community ice trays at work and not refilling them.  I actually left a very sarcastic note on the fridge that mentioned that the ice fairies don’t work here and someone wrote on my nice little note “Pettiness is a sign of a bankrupt intellect”.  I should seriously kick this person ass.

4.       Sand.  Everyday my kids come home with 17 pounds of sand in each shoe.

5.       Target makes me want to scream, because they take all my money.  Let’s not even talk about those magical 1 dollar bins at the entrance…those things are like nectar and I’m the humming bird.

6.       Wet Wipes.  Wet wipes often get on my nerves.  Sometimes wet wipes get stuck in the package, like one isn’t out for me to grab.  I have to dig my fingers in there, and I can’t get just one out I have to pull 25 wet wipes out of the hole at once and it makes me angry to use 25 wet wipes on a basically clean ass – but if I don’t use a wet wipe someone might discover this and make fun of me for being a disgusting person who doesn't properly clean their babies butt – people there could be security camera’s in my house that I’m unaware of here!

7.       Saying shitty things out loud that your kid hears and repeats back to you days later.  You know they hear everything, and I’m afraid mine might be damaged.

8.       Dog crap in my yard.  I do not own a dog, I have an inside cat.

9.       Mouse bones in the litter box, see #8….I own one inside cat, inside, inside…mouse bones in the litter box……ughhhhhhhhh

10.   The vegetables I want to roast smell terrible whilst being roasted.

11.   Needing to go to the bathroom but not being able to get there, I have a window people!!!

12.   Needing to go to the bathroom and getting there and then not being able to go – this is bullshit.

13.   Taking off a sweaty sports bra, contortionist I am not!

14.   People who are still paying for their groceries with a check, and still waiting until the cashiers finished to even attempt to fill it out.

15.   People who have to get just one more car length ahead, you know who you are.  I laugh at you once I catch up again changing nothing about my driving habit!

16.   Herbal pills that always seem to hang out in your throat so you can taste their wonderfulness all day long.

17.   Your mom

18.   LOL

Ingredients (muffins/12)
From AllRecipes
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
3 bananas, mashed
3/4 cup white sugar
1 egg, beaten
1/3 cup butter, melted
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice

Ingredients (crumble top)
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
2 TBS all-purpose flour
1/8 tsp cinnamon
1/2 cup chopped candied pecans (got mine from Trader Joe's)
1 TBS butter

  1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Lightly grease 10 muffin cups, or line with muffin papers.
  2. In a large bowl, mix together 1 1/2 cups flour, baking soda, baking powder, pumpkin pie spice, and salt. In another bowl, beat together bananas, sugar, egg, vanilla, and melted butter. Stir the banana mixture into the flour mixture just until moistened. Spoon batter into prepared muffin cups.
  3. In a small bowl, mix together brown sugar, 2 tablespoons flour, pecans, and cinnamon. Cut in 1 tablespoon butter until mixture resembles coarse cornmeal. Sprinkle topping over muffins.
  4. Bake in preheated oven for 18 to 20 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into center of a muffin comes out clean.

I declare that these are the best Banana Muffins I've ever had, so much flavor and only a few tweaks from the original recipe - Enjoy!

Monday, February 3, 2014

Spinach Salad with Candied Bacon and Rosemary Chicken Lasagna

Why do kids act up when you have guest over?  I think it must have something to do with needing every bit of attention floating around and the room. Perhaps needing to show off any skill and or trick they’ve acquired over their very short life span?  I should have hired a sitter for my own damn dinner party.  Live and learn baby, live and learn.

Speaking of learning, if you’re going to candy bacon for a salad – do not just candy 5 slices.  That would be dumb.  What this leads to is telling your husband and child that they can’t try any, but then you will be sneaking it when nobody’s looking and that leads to all sorts of guilt…ok, not really. 

What you need to do is order a whole pound of bacon and candy the whole flipping package.  This stuff is one of the most addicting things ever and it’s only two ingredients.  Did I mention the vessel for the candied bacon is a spinach salad with fresh blackberry vinaigrette?

Ladies and gents, this makes the bacon null and void!  The calories practically don’t count - actually calories don’t even have thumbs so there’s no way they can perform complicated mathematical body fat equations that end up on your hips and ass.

You’re welcome.

Speaking of Lasagna (I was talking to the voices in my head), I made a pretty damn good one for my dinner party.  Let me preface this Lasagna with saying it’s got a weeeeeee bit of prep involved.  If you have children you need to tell your significant other or quite possibly a super cool neighbor that they’ll need to keep your kids in check.  You could also lock them in a basement - but I live in California and we don’t have those here.

I hear this Lasagna was the most pinned recipe of 2013, it’s pretty gorgeous – and it does taste nice.  I think I would leave the mushrooms out next time though.  I would have preferred some chopped broccoli and more spinach - DO NOT SKIP the Lemon Zest, wow did that ever come through.  It was awesome.

Basically what I’m trying to say here is candied bacon is good, lasagna too, and kids should be kept in the basement.

Wait, that’s wrong, how cruel of me.  What I was trying to say is, candied bacon is AWESOME, lasagna is too, and kids should be kept in the basement...during dinner parties.

Here's what we served in case you'd like to copycat!

Marinated Olives (from a jar!!!) 
Triple Chocolate Brownies with Vanilla Ice Cream (store bought)
Pebble Bay Sauvignon Blanc (Available at Fresh and Easy stores)