Happy 2-0-1-3! Party like a toddler!

Fresh Corn Salad with Basil, Feta, and Pine Nuts.

I have to say that I have been so indulgent lately that my body actually made me, make this corn salad.

Body – “Jennifer eat that sugar cookie”

Jennifer – “ok body, no problem…infact how about two?”

Body – “Sure, two is fine..but there are only 5 in the bag so you might as well eat the other two..”

Jennifer – “Nahhhh…that seems over the top”

Body – “Well if you don’t want cookies how about a glass of wine?”

Jennifer – “omg body you read my mind, I’ll totally have a glass.”

Body – “Now that you have had some wine Jennifer, how about 2 more cookies?”

Jennifer – “Yes please”



That’s how the past few weeks have been between me and the old body, it forces me to eat chocolate, olives, wine, and sugar cookies…no I am not pregnant.

So after many days of iced sugar cookies, body demanded something a bit more fresh and healthy..and so we made this corn salad.

Then we ate more cookies…



INGREDIENTS

6 Ears of Corn
½ Red Onion, finely chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
4 tsp Red Wine Vinegar
1 tbs Olive Oil
2 tsp Sugar
2 Avocados, cubed
15 Cherry Tomatoes, halved
Feta
Basil
Pine Nuts, toasted



DIRECTIONS

Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Add in 2 tsp of Red Wine Vinegar and 2 tsp Sugar to the boiling Water. Add 6 ears of corn to the water, return to a boil then remove from heat and cover for 10 minutes.

Remove the ears of corn and let cool, then remove the kernels and place in a bowl. Add in the remaining 2 tsp of Red Wine Vinegar, Olive Oil, Avocado, Tomatoes, and Red Onion. Top with Feta and shredded basil and toasted pine nuts (which you cannot see in my pictures because I suck and didn't add them until after the picture session, most likely I was distracted by eating cookies).

Planes are not fun

Dude, plane rides with a 4 year old and 8 month old double suck.  I would actually pay an extra 500 dollars for another person’s ticket just to help me & the hubster out.  That’s right Husband and I were straight up broken souls after the flights.

Things that happened on the airplane that involved drinks…there were plenty.  Let’s just say the guy in front of us got his head washed with some Sprite Zero.  Let’s also say that my pants and a can of Coke became friends when I looked away from my babies prying hands for 2 seconds.

Have you ever had to run through O’Hare with 2 kids…without your stroller?  ME ME ME ME ME, I have.  We had to ditch our stroller that we gate checked just to make it to our connection since all of our flights were delayed.  My biceps = flimsy hurting sacks of muscle.

Does your baby sleep on airplanes? If so then the heck with you!  Mine stayed up for 8 hours of flight time.  Have you ever watched 8 hours tick by before, while being trapped on an airplane?  Have you ever watched 8 hours tick by before, while being trapped on an airplane, with 2 kids?

But heck, we made it.  Now imagine two San Diego peeps and 40 degree weather.  We arrived in Pittsburgh to flurries!!

Oh OH OH, I have one more funny story.  We accidentally took a toll road and when we got to the toll we didn’t have quarters or any *real* money for that matter.  It was snowing and about midnight…We flipped our stuff  patiently waited  until a nice person came up after about 15 minutes and graciously gave us 50 cents.

Next we spent a glorious 10 days relaxing, visiting, tv watching, wine drinking etc.  I have to say though I will not be flying for at least 5 more years.  SORRY MOM!

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins and the Fart

Kids are funny, I feel like I should keep a notebook with me just so I can fill you guys in on the happenings in our house.  I have a disgusting, hilarious, short little story to tell you.  Please read no further if you can’t handle fart talk…with a side of Chinese food.

 Let me set you up.  It’s a cool evening and the house it lit up with Vanilla candles and everything is just so nice inside.  Being that I’m into health food and all, I provided my family with a proper meal from Panda Express.  Indigo & I enjoyed some Fried Rice and Chicken Egg Rolls while waiting for dad to get home from work.

 So dad gets home and of course Miss Indy runs over to kiss and hug her hero of a dad.  It’s sweet, she loves him so much and misses him.  After our greetings my husband goes and tackles the Panda Express box for himself.  He makes a large plate and sits down in front of the boob tube (cause that’s how we roll).

As he is eating Miss Indy goes over to him
She stands in front of him
She turns around and shows her back to him
Dear Husband takes a bite of Chinese Food

Miss Indy bends over
Miss Indy bends over and lets out a gargantuan fart
Miss Indy bends over and lets out a gargantuan fart on Dear Husbands plate of food
Miss Indy bends over and lets out a gargantuan fart on Dear Husbands plate of food on purpose

Husband is not amused
Wife is amuzed
All Hell breaks loose

Also these Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins are good.

This Weekend & The Playground

 

Things I watched this weekend

1.       Barbie, A Mermaid tale.

2.       Barbie, Swan Lake

3.       Barbie, Pegasus

Things I ate this weekend

1.       Long John Silvers, Fish & Chicken…and Hush Puppies

2.       Wendy’s, Portobello Mushroom Burger

3.       McDonald's, Sausage Egg & Cheese Biscuit

Things I did not do this weekend

1.       Control my child’s TV watching

2.       Watch my calories

3.       Promise my child we could go play at the McDonald's playground only to find out they have recently bulldozed said playground…Oh wait I did do that.

Do you happen to know what happens to a toddler when you promise a playground trip, but instead the playground is missing and there are obvious signs that it has been bulldozed.  My child did not like this, I repeat SHE DID NOT LIKE THIS.

Crunchy PB & Nutella Oatmeal Cookies

You know, it’s just wrong to wake up at 445am. The sun is not up at 445am, my neighbors are all still nestled in their beds, and even the neighborhood dogs haven’t started their daily symphony of barkfest.

Who’s up at 445am, this girl…did I mention it was Saturday…and Sunday. Did I mention I welcome all forms of sympathy in the comment section of this blog? You can also feel free to tell me I look pretty today.

You know what else is wrong…your mom…sorry I get snarky when I have to get up so early.



You know what else is wrong? Did you happen to notice (those of you that employ the NickJr channel for on the fly babysitting) Did you notice that at 7pm they have started something called Nick Mom??? This means no cartoons..starting at 7!!! This is unacceptable NickJr.

I have a list of 79.5 things that need done between the hours of 7pm -8pm, and NickJr obviously has it out for me.

I will not be sending anyone working for NickJr these cookies.



Delightfully borrowed from Simply Scratch

Ingredients (slightly altered):

1 whole Egg
1/4 cup Brown Sugar
1 tablespoon Whole Milk
3/4 cup Crunchy Peanut Butter
1/4 cup Nutella
1 cup Old Fashioned Oats
1 teaspoon Baking Soda
1/4 Salt

Directions

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Line a pan with parchment.

In your mixer add the egg, brown sugar, milk, pb and Nutella. Mix just until smooth.
Add in the salt, baking soda and oats and mix again.

Drop big old dollops onto the prepared pan and place the cookie sheet into the preheated oven for 8 minutes.

Once the cookies are out of the oven, let them cool just a little bit – then dig in, even if it’s 445am in the morning.

Slow Cooker Peanut Chicken

Listening…a definite skill

Its 5pm, bordering on the evening time when your baby is holding on to you like it’s going to be tossed overboard like last weeks cruise buffet. You begin to realize you have a very small window in which to toss the little chickens into the bath so that daycare does not find them offensive.



Chicken number one is only 6 months old and truly has no say or choice in the matter. Chicken number 2 is four, a rascally four…and often cries deaf around this time of night. The first thing I do is tell Chicken 2 that it’s time for a bath. Chicken 2 remains glued to Team Umi Zoomi…I mean their counting shapes dude and this causes ear blockage for parental voices.



Try number 2 involves you letting the 4 year old know that the 6 month old is about to have the time of their lives in the fabulous bath tub. Chicken number 2 turns her head just the slightest but is distracted by a long lost Barbie boot under the couch….plan foiled.

Try number 3 is where you pull out the big guns..want to know what a toddler can hear over cartoons and finding long lost Barbie boots…Go upstairs..tip toe…now use your best actress voice and say “Mmmmmmmmm this chocolate milk is soooooo good!”



5..4..3..2..1 Your toddler has now made her way up the stairs.

5..4..3..2..1 Your toddler now realizes you have tricked her, there is NO Chocolate Milk.

5..4..3..2..1 Grab toddler, disrobe her..toss her into the tub

Mission complete.



Delightfully borrowed from Slender Kitchen

Ingredients
1.5 lbs of chicken breast tenderloins
1 red pepper, diced
1 onion, chopped
1/2 cup chunky peanut butter
juice of 1 lime
1/2 cup chicken broth
1/4 cup  soy sauce
1/2 tbsp cumin
1/2 tbsp coriander
*Soba noodles (cooked)

Directions
Add the chicken, red peppers, and onions to the bottom of the slow cooker.
In a small bowl, whisk together the peanut butter, soy sauce, lime juice, chicken broth, cumin, and coriander. Pour over the chicken.
Cook on high for 4 hours or until chicken is cooked through. Break into smaller pieces with a fork and serve over soba noodles.

Graham Cracker Crusted Red Velvet Brownies with Buttercream

Since I'm neglecting my kitchen I figured why not break it back in with lots of red food dye!! Welcome back kitchen, now I’ll probably not see you again for a month or two…unless I’m mixing up bottles for the wee one.

Speaking of “mixing” it up, I have some great ideas for you to “mix” it up in your house and make things so much more fun…just in case you’re deep in the throes of kid kingdom like me and need to entertain yourself.



Idea number one is meant to relieve your anger without your child even knowing it, my suggestion is Simon Says. Simon Says you say??? How does this relieve my anger or anxiety? Well you just haven’t introduced a hose into the situation. That’s right - I would like to add that your child gets pelted with the hose water every time they don’t listen for Simon.

The little munchkins have NO idea..he…I have only tried this 2,432 1 time.




Idea number 2...

Have a baby that needs a new FUN activity?
Does your child seem bored or are you bored?

Well might I introduce the game called “make really farking loud noises and see if your baby laughs or makes sad face”. How can something so wrong be so right, love you Desmond.

Please do not call CPS on me, for heaven sakes look at the brownies I’ve made them! SUPER MOMMMMMMMY!



Delightfully borrowed from, modified a lil - SugarCrafter

Makes an 8×8″ pan.

Graham crust:

• 1 ¼ cups graham cracker crumbs
• 6 Tbsp unsalted butter

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Combine melted butter and graham crumbs, then press into a greased 8×8″ pan.

Brownies:

• 1/2 cup butter, at room temperature
• 1 1/2 cups sugar
• 2 eggs
• 2 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 1/4 cups all purpose flour
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 3 Tbsp cocoa powder
• 2 Tbsp red food coloring
• 2/3 cups chocolate chips

In a small bowl, combine cocoa powder, red food coloring, and 1 teaspoon vanilla to create a paste. In the bowl of an electric mixer, cream butter and sugar until fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, then add remaining teaspoon of vanilla. With the mixer on medium speed, add in cocoa powder mixture. Beat until batter is completely red.  Add flour and salt, mixing until just combined. Fold in chocolate chips. Gently spread batter on top of graham cracker crumbs. Bake for 30-35 minutes, or until brownies are done.

Vanilla Butter cream:

• 1 cup butter, softened
• 3 ½ cups powdered sugar
• 1 tsp milk
• 1 tsp vanilla extract

In your mixer, mix it. Done. Oh wait, spread on top of cooled brownies. eat.eat.one more..

Simple Banana Muffins

So I was just finishing up a book called “How to be a good wife” -  hahahahah, just joking.

Actually I was just pondering the way people fight in relationships..Take myself for example. When something isn’t going my way because my husband is being dumb and not listening,  I tend to make him suffer.



Suffering Rules.

1.  Do not look husband in the eyes..ever

2.  One word answers only to his questions, he must be made to fish for answers, if you feel the need to answer with more then one word be sure to say “Nothing is wrong honey”, then avert your eyes again.

3.  DO NOT CLEAN (this is his only way to pay you back for his dumbness in the end)

4.  Make sure you watch The Real Housewives all night, you know – because he really really loves that show.  Other show suggestions Oprah, Teen Mom, and Here Comes Honey BOO BOO (ok that last one would make you suffer too!)

5.  Tell him that you would really like to rent "Magic Mike" when it comes to DVD...since he did not directly ask you a question you can break rule 2 with this one.

And that’s your lesson for today, after he has suffered for 24 hours or so you can bake him these muffins….and then eat them all before he gets a chance to have one!



Ingredients
Delightfully borrowed from Allrecipes

• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 large bananas, mashed
• 3/4 cup white sugar
• 1 egg
• 1/3 cup butter, melted
• ¾ cup candied pecans, chopped

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Coat muffin pans with non-stick spray, or use paper liners. Sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.

In a large bowl Combine bananas, sugar, egg, pecans, and melted butter. Fold in flour mixture, and mix until smooth. Fill muffin pans.

Bake in preheated oven. Bake muffins for 10 to 20 minutes, just keep your eyes on them.

Fire Alarms & Balls

Things I’ve had to endure the last week or so have been exciting. Want to know what’s happening with Indigo’s family? Let me fill you in on the curious conversations & antics.

Fire Alarms…

- They are red

- They are red and really stand out

- They are red, stand out, and beckon to toddlers "come here toddler, wanna play?"

- Indigo’s favorite color is purple

- Fire alarms are not purple

- Indigo still pulled the fire alarm



Co-Ed Baths…get your head out of the gutter

- They save time

- They save water

- They save my sanity

- Indigo has noticed that she and brother are different

- We have no fire alarm in our bathroom

- Indigo has now added the word scrotum to her vocabulary versus balls, did I choose right???  I mean I debated what word I wanted her to use in conversations with her fellow toddler friends and scrotum seemed more appropriate.



I got my hair chopped

- It is short

- It is easy peasy

- It is still black

- Indigo’s favorite color is purple

- There was a fire alarm at the salon I went to

- I do not have a scrotum, just incase you were wondering



Well that rounds out my updates for the week. Hug

Warm Bacon and Egg Salad

Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness
Take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles that's what you do



There are so many things that I just love. There are so many things that float my boat. There are so many things that make my lips curl into a smile. There are so many things that make me want to twirl.

1. Watching some kick butt TV while enjoying wine not worrying about waking up 17 times per night.

2. Going to bathroom without a 4 year old and the cat in tow…and a baby on your lap.

3. Finding everything you left out the night before…right where you left it. Has anyone seen my remote control? Thermometer? Gum? Indigo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



There are so many things that I loathe. There are so many things that sink my ship. There are so many things that make me frown. There are so many things that make me want to curl up and take a nap.

1. Waking up 17 times per night.

2. Having a party of people in the bathroom every time I have to pee.

3. Having to change the TV channel manually, that right - with my own hand!!! Seriously people I have no less than 2,000 channels and Indy’s shows are on channel 109…mine 1042….



But something I made time for, besides watching Megamind with my dear sweet indigo while balancing a 3 month old on my head (not really), but something you should also make time for is this simple salad.



Ingredients
Dressing

2 tbs Olive Oil
1 tbs Red Wine Vinegar
1 tsp Dijon Mustard
Pepper




Salad

4 Romaine Lettuce Hearts
15 Cherry Tomatoes halved
4 slices of bacon, pan fried, chopped (hot please)
4 hard boiled eggs, quartered
Croutons..mine were pre-made shhhhhhh

Directions

Combine all of the dressing ingredients, shake rattle and roll that sucker..or mix, your choice. Toss dressing over chopped romaine and add remaining ingredients.

Real tough I know.

Later.